REALLY Showing

One month ago today, I wrote a post about the sheer joy and delight that is pregnancy (see "Showing"- July 16, 2009).

At that time I came across an email I had sent out whilst 8 1/2 months pregnant with Zoie-- circa January 2005. I scoffed at the petty complaints found in the email. I applauded myself for being so far above whining about the seemingly mild discomforts of "growing life".

I re-read that same email this morning; re-read it with my chubby, puffy fingers pounding on the laptop keyboard-- missing every other keystroke due to the sheer size of each giant fat finger. I perused the email with swollen eyes that haven't ascertained a decent night's sleep all week, due to my overgrown belly and, apparently, tiny bladder.

This time around, I very much related to my 2005 pregnant self.

Here is the email for your enjoyment:
January 19, 2005
Dear Friends and Family-

I am grateful that I have had a healthy pregnancy-and that I was able to
get pregnant in the first place.

Having said that-

I woke up this morning with sore hips because I am unable to sleep on my
back or stomach and my 1700 lb. body is too much for my hips to hold up
while sleeping. Luckily, I gave them a break by going to the bathroom 6
times last night.

Speaking of my exceedingly large body, when I sat down at work this
morning, I tore my underwear. I have to give it credit for trying so hard
to keep up with my ever- expanding booty. It made a valiant effort, but
this morning it decided that enough is enough.

I spent almost a half an hour on my make-up this morning attempting (in
vain) to cover up my overly blemished skin. I have worn more cover-up in
the last few months than in my entire life put together. (Including the
phase I went through in seventh grade where I could have passed for a
geisha!)

I have incurable heartburn, which is creating conflict with my constant
overwhelming desire for M &M's and buffalo wings.

My maternity clothes that looked and felt so cute in my 6th and 7th month
of pregnancy, now strain to cover my belly. My wardrobe has been reduced
to two shirts, one skirt, and one ill-fitting pair of pants. The
aforementioned garments are all stained and worn- out from being my only
wearable clothes.

I hate to have such a negative attitude. I am sure that this is all worth
it. But today, I am so over being pregnant. For my next one, I will
somehow arrange to only be pregnant for 8 ½ months.


Hopefully, my next letter will be announcing the arrival of my long-
overdue child. Until then, I will sign off as

Miserable and Impatient-

Kira

While I am not quite in that same place right now-- I can see myself getting there... quickly. Five weeks left!