Four years ago, I looked like this:Scary, I know. I don't have "cute" pregnancies. They say that when you are pregnant with a girl she "steals your beauty". My daughter has been gorgeous since the day she was born, so it makes sense that I was so ugly during that pregnancy.
Zoie was due on January 28th. Around the 20th, I decided that I was going to have her early-- mostly for selfish reasons. I was working a job that I hated and I was anxious to not have to go back. But if you had asked me back then why I was so eager, I would have told you that I was dying to meet my sweet little daughter.
In my attempts to force Zoie into the world, I did the following:
- Drank 2 entire bottles of Castor oil (disgusting-- but came the closest to working)
- Ran a mile as fast as I could and followed that with jumping jacks
- Moved heavy equipment
- Drank some sort of herbal tea that is supposed to induce labor
- Consumed MOUNDS of black licorice
Results: Nothing. Zero. Zip. I honestly knew from that point on that Zoie would be stubborn and that she and I would butt heads for all eternity.
Four years ago-- on Friday, January 28th I was on my way home from the job I hated when I made a left turn at an intersection on a yellow/ red light. The truck coming the opposite way also took the yellow/red light. It had been raining and the roads were slick. As I saw the speeding truck racing toward the side of my car, I slammed on the gas but my tires couldn't find traction and I spun out. CRASH!! The truck completely destroyed the passenger side of my car.
I was fine and so was the 17 year-old driver of the truck (but you should have seen his face when I got out of my car 9 months pregnant!) I refused an escort from the fire department and Lance took me to the hospital.
Long story short-- after an induction and ten hours of labor, Zoie still refused to be born. The doctors took matters into our own hands and performed a cesarean. You should have heard the screaming that came from Little Zoie when she was born. She did not like being forced to do something she didn't want to do. Some things never change....
Moral of the story: If you are ready to deliver a baby and nothing seems to work, try turning left in front of a speeding truck.