I went jean shopping at a consignment store last week. I was not paying particular attention to the cut of the pants-- just grabbing a handful of jeans in my size from brands I like. Through this practice I did something that I swore I would never do.
I accidentally tried on a pair of skinny jeans.
They looked exactly as I always knew they would. I actually laughed out loud in the dressing room. I tried to take a picture with my phone, but decided that as much as I enjoy making fun of myself, the world was not ready for the likes of SKINNY JEAN KIRA.
The Skinny on Skinny Jeans- They are a curse on this planet. Why do we not just call a spade a spade-- as in lets just call skinny jeans "denim leggings."
Unless the circumference of your ankles are greater than or equal to the circumference of your thighs-- you will end up with a phenomenon known as "carrot legs". Not a great look. For anyone.
The only exception to the carrot leg rule is if the skinny jeans in question are paired with knee high boots-- thus maximizing the circumference of your ankle. I live in Florida so this rule does not apply here.
I was telling a friend about my horrifying brush with the skinny jean virus and she said- "I don't mind when people wear skinny jeans." I asked for clarification and explained the carrot leg law to my misguided pal. She responded, "I think that's why I like people wearing skinny jeans-- they make even skinny people look chubby." Ah-- mystery solved.
The skinny jean epidemic does indeed have a purpose on earth-- to make skinny people look chubby.
7 comments:
I fully agree! Skinny jeans and I would be an awful couple full of disgust and contempt for each other. Maybe they will go away soon and the super baggy guy jeans will be back in from my middle school days. Not that those were so cute either, but at least I didn't want to cry while trying them on!
You are too funny, I would have loved to see that picture of you...but don't feel bad, skinny jeans look ridiculous on everyone ;)
I must agree that skinny jeans would be a terrible look on me as well! I do not understand why kids and young adults wear these, I guess it is because they can fit in them!
hahaha! You are so funny! And I would be horrified to see myself in a pair of skinny jeans as well. I love your descriptions though. Cracks me up!
I have seen my share of skinny jean mishaps throughout the world, and I fully agree that we should start a movement to banish that fashion atrocity. What designer would do this to the unsuspecting public?? Charlatans, the whole lot of them!
Am I the only supporter of skinny jeans?? I love them! But then, my perception of fashion may be worped considering I live in Utah.
maybe it is utah... i would never wear them... but my students do and look cute...
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