Blowout- Birth Control at the Super Target

I generally have three to four children with me at any given time. During my morning errands, I have three adorable boys at my side (or in my arms). I get smiled at a lot.

The smiles I get from strangers range from the "Aww... what a bunch of adorable kids" to "You are crazy... but good for you" to "Those boys had better behave in my store".

I have my usual response: a half-shrug and grin that can read as "I love being a Mom" or "I know I'm crazy... but what are you going to do?" or even "Don't judge me... I'm doing my best!"

A few weeks ago, I visited Target. I had Chase in my arms and Tobin and his friend Riley were in the shopping cart. Everyone was behaving. I was leisurely browsing. It was a great day to be at Target.

I felt like I was getting "smiled" at more than usual and had pasted my "response" smile permanently on my face. I noticed a familiar odor and knew my browsing would have to be cut short-- due to a poopy diaper. As I leaned down to locate the source of the unpleasant aroma, I caught a glimpse of a bright green "stripe" on my otherwise solid maroon shirt. Oh. Source found.

Turns out, Chase had a blowout IN THE CARSEAT. I was too busy corralling children to notice and I had succeeded in wiping it completely across my shirt THIRTY MINUTES previously. Then, like the idiot of the century, I walked up and down the crowded aisles of Target with a dumb grin on my face. I have no idea how it took me so long to notice a) the scent or b) the neon green color of the human waste on my clothing.

I figured by that time, half the store was aware of my situation-- so I continued to leisurely make my way to the bathroom, without a care in the world, and then behind closed doors, I furiously tried to remedy the situation... after capturing this picture with my phone(be SO glad it is poor quality):

I figure if even one young, impressionable Target employee left that day with a glimpse into the "real life" scenario of a mom and decided to postpone procreation activities-- then Chase's bowel movement will have served a noble purpose.

For Mom...

I have been in bed for the past five days. Even on my deathbed my Mother pesters me for photos of the kids. These are for you Mom (Lori too, I suspect).

Looking at manatees a few weeks ago...

And the manatees were pretty awesome, too. There were hundreds of them, many stingrays, and even a shark. Of course all of my photographic attempts look like this-

Yeah, I think I have a gift as a wildlife photographer....

Happy- Go- Lucky Mamaquin

On Friday morning, I awoke to a text message from my friend Jen-- "Want to enter a contest with the Old Navy mannequins tomorrow?" Huh?

After expressing my confusion, she emailed me info on this contest.I laughed, rolled my eyes at my crazy friend with her funny ideas, and then texted her back- "HECK YES-- I'M IN!" Old Navy, posing for pictures, award money... where's the downside here?

We had a fun morning posing with the store mannequins. And by fun, I mean we had four kids in the middle of the mall-- hitting, whining, crying, knocking the mannequins over... okay, that was just me and Jen.

I uploaded my photos and now I need some votes. Let's face it-- no one wants to buy clothes on a mannequin that looks like me. But the kids have some appeal-- so I am putting all my eggs in their basket.

Here are the submitted photos and the links you can click on and give them "10's". You only have to register once and you can vote every day... so do.

http://bit.ly/bNkYj0

http://bit.ly/9yb7Jl

http://bit.ly/9gnxMF

Chase at 5 Months

A little info on our favorite 5 month old:

Is getting chubbier (and therefore cuter) every day

Still loves attention and will talk and smile at anyone who will give him this coveted attention

Saves his biggest grins for Zoie

Talks LOUD-- apparently has no volume control (especially at 3 am!)

Loves sucking on his fistStill has this entire family wrapped around his chubby little finger...

Why I Love Having Young Children

If Tobin were any older, he would know that this is actually a handful of weeds and he would not be so anxious to pick these "beautiful flowers" for me.

He would not demand that I put them in water and be heartbroken when they died.


In another year or two, Zoie's valentines might say "Happy Valentines Day"-- instead of this:

She might not glue stryofoam dinosaurs on the valentine. Her depiction of me might include more than three fingers on each hand and her hearts might actually resemble a heart-- rather than a rear end.

Having a gaggle of young children in the house has its challenges-- but I know that, in the blink of an eye, my crazy kids will be grown and I will miss the weeds and the dinosaurs....

Superbowl

I do not claim to be a devoted football fan, but I never miss a Superbowl. I think any event that centers around food (and junk food, at that!) is bound to meet my approval. And truth be told, although I am partial to ice hockey, football is just an awesome spectator sport.

Rasmussen Superbowl Review:

Dilemma: Who to root for. This guy is hilarious on Saturday Night Live (a rarity for athletes):But in the end, my ties to the South (and my need to root for the underdog won out)It was just an awesome game.

Commercials: I have to give this year's award to Doritos. I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw a "Dorito blow dart" and Betty White. Hilarious.Food: Some of the best blue cheese burgers ever.

I know that if there are any true football fans reading this, they are rolling their eyes at my Superbowl review. Get over it. There is plenty of room for all football fans in the NFL-- even fair weather fans, such as myself.

Truly Outrageous

When I picked up an outfit for Zoie to open and wear on her 5th birthday, I really just wanted something cheap (so I could justify buying her yet another gift) and something that my opinionated daughter would LOVE. When I saw this outfit, I begrudgingly knew that it was THE ONE.

It is pink.
It is Princess and the Frog.
To Zoie, that is like the perfect storm in fashion.

I was happy that it was so cheap, but a tunic? Leggings? And some other thing (scarf, belt, bandanna?) ??? It even has rhinestones across the neckline. It looked like something right out of my childhood in the 80's. I nearly died when I saw this thing:

Seriously? It reminds me of GEM! (The Barbie doll/ Rockstar, for those of you not in the know).

I realize that I am far from being on the cutting edge of fashion, but I am not about to send my daughter to school in a ROMPER.

As a side note: Zoie managed to make that funky little Princess and the Frog outfit stunning. (And I was secretly very relieved when she lost the accessory [scarf, belt, bandanna?]).

Another Post Script: I just re-read this post and I am noticing that I am basing my view of fashion on what is currently being carried by our local Walmart. :(